Doing magic tricks
All about misdirection
Just like politics

Speed bumps in the road
You have to slow down sometimes
Or you'll break something

Little bag goes in
Hot buttered popcorn comes out
Microwave magic

An old proverb says
Those who live in glass houses
Should always wear pants

When it rains it pours
But that figures because I
Just had my car washed

Feeling a bit lost?
You don't need ruby slippers
There's no place like home

Garbage collectors
Banging bins at 6 am
Urban alarm clock

Most pizza places
Will bring it right to your house
Am I in heaven?

I want to tell you
It's been a hard day's night but
We can work it out

No parking Friday
12 pm to 2 pm
Gotta move my car